The Fun Meter patch is a classic.
Now, this may surprise some of you, but morale patches have been very popular in the War on Terror. I blame video games and horseless carriages. I am also not immune to the disease, I love patches.
My favorite of all time is the ubiquitous “fun meter” patch, if only because it pissed off the Command Sergeant Major of 3rd Special Forces Group so much it was included by name in the Group Uniform Regulations book.
Anything that gets the CSM sparky enough to have a vein throbbing in his forehead visible from space has to be good. The only way to make that any better would obviously be to put it on a baseball hat and walk into SOCOM HQ.
Buy this patch. Just don’t wear it if you haven’t earned it.
As we go into the Christmas season with gusto, a lot of us are grabbing at last minute gifts like a drowning man at a life preserver. This may surprise you from the normal attention to detail in my videos, but this year my TBI has run off with my shopping list, leaving me in the same boat.
So I was searching the online store of my friends over at Ronin Tactics, and I saw something that prompted me to make this column. Today we are talking a bit about patch etiquette.
In the modern world of online shopping, it is very easy to purchase something that is a grave insult to very dangerous people, should they see it on your plate carrier at a training event. And it is easy to do that by accident.
Hell, there are some unscrupulous chuckleheads on Amazon right now, selling Hog’s Teeth. Which is a very good way to get into a fight with 22-year-olds that are good at fighting. Those kinds of things are earned, not bought. And certainly not made in China.
You can buy a Hog’s Tooth on Amazon right now. But do so at your own risk.
So how does this affect patches? Basically, it is one thing to buy patches for your collection on the inside of your gun safe, and quite another to roll into 7/11 wearing them. And this isn’t just a civilian thing.
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I have patches from friends in other units I wouldn’t be caught dead wearing. They are awesome gifts, and generally not something just handed out. You have to pass the cool test first. But just because you pas the cool test doesn’t mean they belong on your jacket.
A prominent example here is a patch I got from a Ranger Sniper Platoon. It was humbling to receive, and I am very appreciative. But I have never been in a Ranger Battalion or in a Ranger Sniper Platoon. So it goes next to my SEAL ones, or my EOD ones, or my AC-130 gunship one.
So how does this affect anyone out there buying patches? Well, from a Veteran perspective, it is pretty humbling that people want the badge of our units. That is some borderline emotional shit. Not for me obviously, I just cut some onions. But for other guys. It’s a pretty big ego shot that people think so highly of the terrorist slaying we did, they want our talisman to ward off jihad. And I totally get it.
You can pick up this patch at Ronin Tactics.
So as a general rule, don’t wear patches of specific military units. Collect them, by all means. But don’t wear them. The patch in question from Ronin Tactics belongs to a very specific Army Direct Action unit, of which I was also a part of. It is totally sweet, and best believe I bought one in each color. If you support your local 15-6 Door Kickers, you should have one too. But keep them where they belong, unless you were part of the team.